Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
