If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
