I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Randomize
