Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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