So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
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