Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
