you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
