You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
