It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
