Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
