Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
