I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
