Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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