It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
