So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize