who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize