I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
