Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
