i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
