We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
