i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I didn't notice because vodka
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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