Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
