So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
