no you cant smoke seaweed
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Found the puke drawer
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
