Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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