i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Still dying that you shit outside
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
