she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
This is the high leading the old right now
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize