You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
They should really pass out barf bags in church
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Sober January is a disaster.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Randomize
