wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
