question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
