his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
you will always have a special place in my vag
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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