I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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