hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
