That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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