I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
