I got chris browned last night
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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