my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize