I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
