he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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