Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
