david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
