Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Randomize
