I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
