He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The struggles of a small town man whore
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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