You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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