I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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