Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
