goodnight i made you a song goodbye
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
