Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize