Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
