Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
