it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
