Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
