brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
