I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
