yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
well, you know. whores of a feather.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
