i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
