dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
