he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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