I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
