he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
