we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
